Cardenio Online Hubbub Monday, June 9, 2008: Weddings Gone Awry

We’ve asked our audience to reveal their best stories of weddings gone awry. What stories do you have?

“I once went to a wedding where they only played techno music at the reception, leaving all the older people who were looking forward to a few nice slow dance to sit sadly in their chairs.” -Lindsay B.

“We had friends who got married at Longwood Towers in the middle of a heat wave, and there was no electricity, so the air conditioning, lights, etc. were out.  They got married by candlelight.  There was one generator, which they used for the DJ.  People were sweltering.” -Michelem

“My niece’s wedding.  Her best friend/maid of honor forgot her very important (and ultimately vacuous) speech at the ceremony–three tries- and finally asked out loud for her Blackberry to get her back on track.” -Styler Divine

“I know of one where the guests were taking bets at the rehearsal dinner to see how long the marriage would last. (6 months)” -Nancy T

“My cousin’s husband (to be) fainted at the altar while the minister was doing the vows.” -Linda W

“My son’s wedding was held at Hammond Castle in Magnolia, MA–a medieval castle on the cliffs overlooking the ocean.  It POURED cats and dogs and no one could even see the ocean, let alone go outside and enjoy the grounds and the view.  The castle has lots of little rooms and the one in which the wedding cake was placed sprang a leak and dripped on the cake and the guests.  The kids (the wedding party and young friends) took it all in good humor and wore plastic swimming tubes to mock the day, and my son was/is happily married despite the weather and the failure of everyone to fully enjoy the location.” -Robert E.

“At one wedding I was introduced to 55 previously unknown cousins (my grandfather had 7 brothers) and at another the best man (me) forgot he was supposed to prepare a toast to the couple (but I faked it well enough).” -Gentle Viewer

“the bride had slept with the sister of the groom….  and the groom’s teenage younger brother as well…  of course only a few of us knew this….this was the 70’s…” -psychojock

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Cardenio Online Hubbub Thursday, June 5, 2008: Weddings Gone Awry

We’ve asked our audience to reveal their best stories of weddings gone awry. What stories do you have?

“A common, vulgar drunken guest. The JP engaged to perform the ceremony rattling off the standard script, forgetting that the groom was an affirmative atheist and had expressly asked that all mention of God be omitted.    Something going wrong in the back of the country club hall (I never knew what) and the hired country-western band playing the first half of the wedding march from “Lohengrin” over and over and over and over and over again for twenty interminable minutes.” -John W.

 

Cardenio Online Hubbub Wednesday, June 4, 2008: Weddings Gone Awry

We’ve asked our audience to reveal their best stories of weddings gone awry. What stories do you have?

“Everyone was loaded, and it was clear it was a bad match. The groom ran away and went to a bar.” -Roy D.

“My brother’s honeymoon luggage was stolen as he and his bride awaited a taxi to the airport for their trip to Europe.” -Pat Y.

Cardenio Online Hubbub Tuesday, June 3, 2008: Weddings Gone Awry

We’ve asked our audience to reveal their best stories of weddings gone awry. What stories do you have?

“I once arrived at a wedding to find the bride on the porch, in cutoffs, saying “Oh, I guess I should get in the shower!”  Needless to say, it started late.  There was also apparently a disagreement about what kind of reception to have.  So first one group of relatives served champagne punch and finger sandwiches and other pretty hors d’oeuvres and then a different group started a clambake.  This would have been less of a problem if the guests had been warned…eating corn on the cob and in-shell seafood isn’t really an activity for formal wedding clothes!  But in the end, the couple was married (and still is!) and very happy, so all’s well that ends well!” -Elizabeth H.

 

Cardenio Online Hubbub Monday, June 2, 2008: Weddings Gone Awry

We’ve asked our audience to reveal their best stories of weddings gone awry. What stories do you have?

“My own wedding went awry—at least I think so after 29 years of marriage and pending divorce.  We only had seven guests, and no parents came, and none were invited.  The photographer was a wedding gift from a friend, and he appeared in most of the photos wearing a hat with horns.  The maid of honor was the newly-dumped girlfriend of a guest who brought his new girlfriend who eventually married and dumped because he didn’t want children.  The groom’s brother was best man, and the groom’s sister who was gay was in attendance, being “hit upon” by the photographer in the horned cap.  The bride (yours truly) and the groom had to be approved by the then-City Clerk of New York (who later became Mayor Dinkins) because both had lied about being married before in order to expedite marriage.  They had been legally divorced, but just didn’t say so.  But when interview by the man who was to marry them, the prospective groom said he could not tell a lie (his one act of honesty) and said he and I had been married before.  The bride-to-be (yours truly), was humiliated but determined not to let the groom-to-be get away with such a low-brow way of trying to ditch the marriage.  So we got married in our apartment and celebrated on our deck with nuns and students cheering us on from the Catholic school next door.  We danced the night away, never had a wedding night that was consummated, and the groom’s sister (a nurse) faked a broken arm so she could claim that that kept her in New York for another day or two before going back to work in Atlanta. Of course, she had to wear the plaster cast we made for her for six weeks in order to cover the deceit.  The bride and groom stayed married for 29 years and should be divorced within the next few months. All’s well that ends well.    P.S.  The bride never consummated any of her marriages on the wedding nights.  That first marriage wedding night was spent sleeping in a used car parking lot in Connecticut.  But that is another story….” – Dianne V.

 

Cardenio Online Hubbub Monday May, 26, 2008: Weddings Gone Awry

We’ve asked our audience to reveal their best stories of weddings gone awry. What stories do you have?

“One of the bridesmaids replied to an email saying, “I can’t believe your brother is getting married already. Do you remember when you and I used to fantasize about having sex with him and . . . so on and so on with explicit details. By mistake though she responded to the entire guest list, not just to her friend.” -Jon L.

“I attended one where the groom fainted mid-ceremony, but he soon rose to the occasion.” -Diane A.

“My nephew & his bride are environmental freaks. At their wedding they served a pre-ceremony supper with all ingredients gained from local farmers, organic growers, and the like.  And everyone who ate this “proper” meal got diarrhea!” -Petrakis B.

“The time came for the wedding to start.  The organist kept looking to the rear of the church, waiting for the bride to enter.  He played some of his music for a second time.  At least 20 minutes passed.  Finally the minister came forward and announced that the bride’s father had been stricken with appendicitis not 2 hours previously, that the bride’s mom was at the hospital while he had surgery.  As it happened, an uncle of the bride was there from Norway.  He gave the bride away.  He was wearing at traditional Norwegian folk costume, looked super in the photos!  Two months later the wedding party, Dad now fully recovered, donned their finery once again and had a second round of professional pictures taken!” -nancybt

“The bride invited her boyfriend who then followed the newly weds on their honeymoon! The bride managed to keep both men happy without them knowing about each other. Needless to say, it ended badly!” -jocelynmia

Cardenio Online Hubbub Thursday, May 22, 2008: Weddings Gone Awry

We’ve asked our audience to reveal their best stories of weddings gone awry. What stories do you have?

“My brother got thrown out of his own reception for drinking too much, doing Mick Jagger imitations and scaring the children. He went alone to NYC to a Yankee’s game direct from his ejection (on his wedding night).” -Tommy S

“The closest I’ve ever come to such a train wreck was being taken aside by the groom on the day of the wedding and then listening to him agonize about what he was about to do while he insisted on getting thoroughly intoxicated. A little while later, while the wedding ceremony was being performed, he was a little wobbly and his bride knew it. Well short of a farce, but sadly, the marriage did not prosper.” -Swrfer

“The centerpiece was a glass vase with a samurai fighting fish in it. It was on a glass mirror, however, with candles at each corner, and during the reception, the candles started to heat up the water in the vase. Several fish were boiled before people realized what was happening.” -Bob P.

“No, but when I was officiating, as a Lutheran minister, at a wedding, one of the ushers made a pass at me. In 1968!” -bobby b

Cardenio Online Hubbub Tuesday, May 20, 2008: Weddings Gone Awry

We’ve asked our audience to reveal their best stories of weddings gone awry. What stories do you have?

“Yes. My daughter got married last December in California in a Wiccan ceremony. One prominent part of the ceremony was when the officiant was supposed to turn to each cardinal compass point and say a prayer to it. Although the wedding was on the grounds of the B&B owned by the officiant, she couldn’t even orient herself towards the setting sun. Finally, she said, “Whatever,” and just turned her head this way and that while reading the ceremonial words.” -rtrac3y

“The photographer went crazy and yelled at me to get out of the picture. I was an invited guest and good friend of the bride, but he was in a hurry to get out of there so he threw a temper tantrum. Wouldn’t have happened at a decent wedding.” -David W.

“No … but I certainly have known of incidents where a groom/bridge was “jilted” at the aisle … or when weddings were called off when one of the future partners questioned “death do us part” upon thinking about other past relationships and the end of future potential ones.” -MPR

Cardenio Online Hubbub Monday, May 19, 2008: Weddings Gone Awry

We’ve asked our audience to reveal their best stories of weddings gone awry. What stories do you have?

“At my wedding, we had a friend who broke her ankle. The dancing was so vigorous she fell over. I kind of think of it as a badge of honor that the party was so fun and crazy.” -WW

“Only a small glitch.  An outdoor wedding, with a brick walk.  The edge of the bride’s veil caught on the bricks, and the veil was pulled off her head.” -BAE

“When I was young, my much older cousin got married.  Her father (my uncle) had remarried after her biological mother had died some years before.  However, her mother’s relatives were still put out about the fact that her father had remarried and caused quite a scene at the wedding, eventually storming out.  It definitely put a damper on what should have been a wonderful occasion.” -Mike F.

Cardenio Online Hubbub Friday, May 16, 2008: Weddings Gone Awry

We’ve asked our audience to reveal their best stories of weddings gone awry. What stories do you have?

“My spouse and I had agreed to be responsible for getting our nephew’s parents and three younger siblings to synagogue on time for the 1PM reception and 2PM ceremony.  When we arrived at the house at 8AM, my sister-in-law was finishing sewing my niece’s maid-of-honor dress.  She had ripped the sleeve off her own dress, and not started alterations on the other dress she might wear for the wedding.  My then-10 year old nephew had given himself a haircut; it looked like he’d had a tussle with a lawn mower.  My other nephew had dress pants that were four inches too short, and my brother-in-law was nowhere to be found.  My niece was also refusing to go to the wedding because she had no more temporary contacts left, and wasn’t willing to wear her glasses.    After assessing all the various problems, my spouse and I divvied up what needed to be done and who needed what kinds of help.  We spent the next five hours in focused activity, looking calm and getting people to get things done.  We succeeded in getting this dysfunctional family to the synagogue at 1:10PM; we were still in shorts and T-shirts (I changed into my wedding dress in the synagogue bathroom).    Amazingly, everything went off pretty well after that, but I’ll never forget being in that house that pre-wedding morning, handling crazy people so that they could go to their own son’s wedding.” -Eve G.

“I once went to a wedding where the bride’s mother and the groom’s mother got into a fistfight.” -GeorgeC