monday december 18, 2006 12:10AM
just left the gang at tommy doyle’s. much life left in the evening but. . . the body and mind and heart slow to the end. craving solitude. the pain in the right hamstring from my high kick. so appropriate to injure this on the last day. tempted fate on so many moves during this show. this little injury is good to slow me down. it takes a certain energy to heal. slowness. quiet.
i leave on the 11:40 train in the morning.
this final entry. should have some import. some summing up. perhaps in the morning. right now, it’s over and i don’t feel a thing. except this general sadness to do with death. sleep come free me. this beautiful journey is now over.
icing the hamstring. so exhausted seeing the onion cellar last night, couldn’t appreciate it. such talent though. these dresden dolls and company. for most of it couldn’t penetrate the coldness of the cabaret. the final song. all those voices. all those stories. separate stories. finally uniting in one song. i liked this.
i only have a couple hours to pack and get the fuck out of dodge. cab should pick me up at 11. train leaves at 11:40.
to sum up; thank you. hadewych and mam danced like angels at the foot of the blues band last night. we all looked on so proudly. these magnificent women. the joy and abandon. the power of these women.
“something will happen, something important tonight, cassiel, she’ll teach me everything.”
the women who have been involved with this wings of desire have saved it. ola, dirkje, loesje, noraly, robin, frieda, mam, hadewych, petra, annetje, amanda, amy, moira, edith, vera, loes, ingrid, kati, kat, more. . .
renate. inviting big love. strength. courage. patience. compassion. thank you.
the brilliant men; jesse, mark, andy, fedja, fred, andris, stephen, gideon, chris, tracy, chris, robert, ivo, wouter, jay, william, reyer, niko, sander, peter, pieter, david, david, more. . .
something solid. inviting depth. demanding connection.
“this wonderment, man and woman has made a man of me. . . i. . . know. . . now. . . what. . .no. . . angel. . . knows. . .”
i leave this project with an expanded heart. a more tolerant patient heart. i leave with an appreciation of chaos. a deeper belief in letting go. a deeper belief in choice. that there is the will. the free will. the need to participate with an open heart. to be in the stream.
to live in the heart of the mess with love.
i wanted to say something more profound to do with love and forgiveness and meeting people where they are without judgment but rather wonder, with curiousity at the miracle and beauty of our brothers and sisters and the Love of God. the unfailing Love of God and that belief in these angels, the proof of these angels is strong evidence for this God.
time to Love. to believe in Love. to believe that peace is possible. in some good small way.
onward. . . see you soon. with all my love and deep gratitude,