american angel notes from the old new world (cambridge) – 33

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friday december 1, 2006 11:24AM

“i’ll be true to my love,
if my love’ll be true to me.”

this 3rd c.d., titled “bastards” of tom waits new c.d. has me smiling and laughing and loving life.

my dear friend valarie gave me a dozen white roses on opening night. i never get flowers on opening nights. i never get flowers.

“you don’t send me flowers,
you don’t write me love songs. . .”

valarie the next day took me to veggie planet. good food. valarie had written front and back of an index card about the play. she got it. she took the note twice;

“this play makes me happy to be alive.”

can’t ask for art to do anything more. valarie’s a graduate divinity student. i went with her to one of her classes. i loved it. i absolutely loved it. the class is Jesus and the Gospels. something being taught and explored that truly matters.

valarie and sharat raju recently made a documentary called DIVIDED WE FALL; AMERICANS IN THE AFTERMATH. it’s to do with the hate crimes against the sikhs after 9/11. i saw an early cut of it and have the feeling it’s real good.

cornel west is speaking in town today at 5:00. i hope i can catch some of it. would like him to see the play. i think he’ll dig it.

tom waits now recites charles bukowski under this email. life is good.

“. . .men arrived as men
departed as gods
gods we knew were here
gods that now let us go on
when all else says stop.”

-bukowski from “the miracle”

waits recites a piece called “nirvana”.

a real good review in the boston globe this morning. what makes me happy is the reviewer describes a play that i would love to be a part of. i am grateful to be a part of this. i am grateful that what we wanted to create has been created.

thank you God.

the body is slow to recover. the spirit is a tree that every year does it’s thing. and yet it is the body i celebrate and awaken each day and night. thank you body.

so the opening went well. felt good. genuine good response. second night went well. had to work a bit harder. that is work harder at not working hard. the audience seemed distant until i became human.

perhaps the deal is that the audience, as angels, goes through what damiel goes through. for the first three quarters they are pretending, observing, in the distance. then they become human as damiel becomes human.

5 shows in the next 3 days.

gotta live right. rest, be ready, prepare the heart for the intensity. prepare, relax the body, that stinking mule sherpa of the soul.

fedja left a message of love. a good man. he did what he had to do. in remaining in amsterdam.

we all do what we have to do. and suffer for the doing and suffer for the not doing. this morning many of us woke to say “tot zo” to loesje and andy and his lovely sister chiara. loesje has been such a huge and important presence in our work.

any beauty in our show is so much to do with loesje’s giving and loving and honest spirit.

these good byes continue. all these little deaths. we die a little with all these little deaths. and in the dying come to life.

on stage is the time reserved to make love. time to love. we surely don’t make love. we find love. we surrender to love. love makes us.

“it’s not in love that we are made,
in love we disappear.”

love makes us love.

nothing, but love,


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