american angel notes from amsterdam – 10

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wednesday september 20, 2006

my first job on television was playing snake on days of our lives. “like sand through the hourglass, so our the days of our lives.”

andre’s beautiful set design. the holy and sacred longing of damiel to be alive. to be in, to feel really the days of our lives. risking love to love. to “descend from the crow’s nest of the unborn.” to follow love. real love. the most sacred thing in existence.

today’s reading from paul’s letter to the corinthians, chapter 33;

“brooders and zusters: Strive eagerly for the greatest spiritual gifts.

But I shall show you a still more excellent way.

If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things. At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

our story is the simple story of this damiel becoming a man. damiel happens to be an angel. the angel is a child. the child is an angel.

“when the child was a child
he walked with swinging arms.”

our story is the simple story of a man retaining his childhood. our story is the simple story of a man becoming a child.

“and if we commit, then, the error of thinking one day this will only be memory. . .learn as you stand at this end of the bridge that arcs. learn to reach deeper into the sorrows to come to touch the almost imaginary bones under the face. kiss the mouth that tells you, here, here is the world. this mouth, these temple bones, the still undanced cadence of vanishing.”
-galway kinnell (from memory, from the book of nightmares)

saw nick cave yesterday on gideon’s birthday, (happy birthday gideon!).

God’s light shining on him, behind him, from him, like a true angel, nick sang screamed; “get ready for love”

perhaps it should be a guitar that falls from the heavens when damiel becomes human. or a set of wings like i found in williamstown under that tree. the body of the bird eaten away. the murderous animal’s saliva stiff, still on the wing. matted feather. wire thin bird cartilage connecting the wings. like a high e string, unbroken, but separated from the body. damiel born a man.



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